When someone shows what they are willing (or not willing) to do, this invariably informs what they can (or cannot) do. Believe them.
This is who they are in the moment, in the reality of now.
Near and far may change slightly, but in my experience that is rare and hard for them. It becomes harder if I ignore the practical reality of NOW.
#managers #family #teammates #peers #employees
This common sense is not all that common. Too often I take it for granted. Do you? That is the big question. Attitude is almost everything. That is practical reality.
Is progress happening for you, with your help or in spite of you? Deciding the balance/split for enabling versus blocking is a key metric to evaluate “mission readiness” for a team.
The deadlines, rate of task completion, and volume of work expectation comes from leadership. The success or failure comes from the work itself and the team’s effectiveness in achieving defined success criteria.
Scope schedule and budget can and do change but it the individual contribution and mindset for the “work” that tells the true tale. In the results we see whether the story is mostly fiction or non-fiction.
Team members MUST be accountable.
Leadership MUST be flexible.
How we get to the end of the story is a series of waterfall obstacles, rapids/burns, and a lot of rowing and steering.
Just keep swimming was good part of Finding Nemo.
Finding the line in 2022 is a challenge. How much involvement with a friend is enough? FaceTime, face to face, texting, email, social media, tik tok. All of these are channels for connecting and communication and yet our society seems more disconnected than ever.
I honestly don’t know how much time to give or expect anymore. Assumicide runs rampant ate every level and the consequences of mistakes are visceral. Was I supposed to know that? Was I supposed to ask about that? Do I call too much? How do you know?
Shared lives are connected by social lines. Those lines connect and divide, often based on assumptions, context, culture, and history. To answer who my friends are forces me to prioritize. Friends DO have expectations of one another. That is how the world works.
Applying this logic to family get much more intense. Stakes are higher. In theory the grace should be more abundant and forgiveness easier. This is rarely true when the assumicide weapons of digital communication are deployed.
the 2022 social lines are drawn. The courage to cross them and love and expect and be accountable for consequences of choices is rare. I aspire to be so much better at all of this. Cest la vie.
Who decides what they are and how to check the box? To make progress and count success there has to be a reference and reality based view of the gaps.
Tasks are not milestones. Days are not milestones. That said, each of these can be a milestone marker when combined with other factors.
After I succeed, the world decides that it was so simple. Everyone could have done that they whisper and shout. Reality is that this is not true. I saw it. I set out to do it. I asked for help and gave help and had good days and bad. It is the sum of the total effort that allows me to track success.
My milestones for 2021 were not as fixed as I like. Fluid days, fluid, even volatile moods and methods generated action and results. The milestone is checked. 2021 DBD… Deciding success or failure is TBD.
It is the very simplest idea of living that fuels the grandest, most transformational system. It is in the day to day step by step that I see why.
To create or to consume. The balance is the razors edge.
The cut is epic in its ability to change. Nothing is so simple as the choice to cut or not to cut, to separate or combine. The consequences of the choice are not simple and so the systems are born.
We train ourselves.
Have I trained myself to be dissatisfied with what I have? Finding the balance between ambition(growth) and static decline is hard. If you aren’t growing you are dying but happiness is understanding that a journey is required every flipping day. Taking things for granted is the way to lose.
I say what others only think.
If the things I think and say shock you, you don’t know me.
Musing Monday on my day off for me. Tenors set the tone. Power and lines. Nail the high notes and minimize the low. Never be afraid of the bombastic. Embrace the sublime.
Mixing, matching, making… manahmanah. Doo do ba doo doo manahmanah.
Living is NOT suffering
The culture around me tells me that I am a victim. Everyone is a victim of some oppression related to race, money, age, weight, parents, gender… you know how the story goes. We are told to wrap ourselves in blaming others and be dependent on ???
This is all a lie. I don’t know why so many are wired to think this way but it is toxic to life.
As a retired performing artist, perspective is important to me. I see and think about what I am seeing constantly. My life is filled with challenges just like yours. My life is NOT an exercise in suffering. Every day is an opportunity to do something, to improve, or maybe just to rest but it is not a burden to bear. Each day is a blessing and a gift. It is from God, bestowed on me, not because of my worth or my deeds, but because of Gods extraordinary love.
The constant complaint, blame game, victim approach is a construct, a choice, that destroys relationship. This is from Satan. It separates us from one another and most importantly it separates us from God. This is sin my friends. The seed may practically originate with your mother, your neighbor, your Sunday school teacher, even your wife and children but it is of the devil.
Life, my life, your life, is about loving and doing in spite of the human challenges which we all have. Living is not about fear and control and the constant envy of what could have been if… this is foolish fallacy.
I am not special. I am a specific, beloved, first born child of God. The systems of men always fail. Gods love does not. I am destined for glory in God, but not because of what I do here and now.
1. see the behaviors which are rooted in blame, victimization, and self
2. reject the victim mindset and choose to be grateful. Focus on blessings. They are always there.
3. Live into the future however it comes. Choose wisely, but choose. Don’t let others choose your thinking.
as to all of that blame and victimhood and pain… it is real. To move ahead, you must let it go and forgive everyone. Period.
There are plenty of people that i consider to be friends who are not.
There are plenty of people that I consider to be enemies who are not.
Family is not a blood thing but blood helps.
Most people don’t really care at all. Period. Most are self focused and self involved above all else.
Social media is a semi public, artificially created, construct of community. It is not community and it is a fleeting reflection of what authentic living together encompasses. #WakeUpAmerica
Social media is a pandemic public health crisis which is actually undermining society. No different than drugs, alcohol, big tobacco, gambling… it is an addiction that requires treatment and detox.
Desires above all else?
“You have fought bravely and kept your honor.”
Aragorn to Boromir at his death.
“I would have followed you my brother, my captain, my king.” Boromir to Aragorn.
Both statements are what I yearn to hear, perhaps above all else. They represent true goals for fellowship.
break your cycles with choices
My nature is something I understand more fully as I get older. to compete, to control, to conscript and compare... I choose to nurture differently. to collaborate, to enable, and to assist and to revel in others success along with my own.
I am far more than my biological makeup. You are too. Choose wisely, learn and change where YOU decide according to YOUR standards.
Bridges. Go Backward and forward.
I’ve spent many days worrying about burning bridges. All good things come to an end is another important idea that I embrace. The reality is that In the last two years a ton of people chose to burn bridges to me and my cohort with their authoritarian behaviors, condemnation, and disregard of my and my fellow citizens agency. From speech, to firearms, to respect and even singing… and music making.
The wounds were frequent personal and sometimes vicious and even as I chose to suck It up buttercup, the indignant behaviors continued. I guess It wasn’t always malevolent intent. Often the outcomes were rooted in immaturity and pure incompetence. The results of those two realities are often identical.
So Many chose to embrace only their ways and treated me and mine with rank disrespect. Perhaps I’m just older and crotchety now. Maybe I’m wiser, maybe I’m foolish. The truth is… I’m not really interested in spending the time and energy required to rebuild most of those bridges.
Perhaps this is a character flaw. Perhaps it isn’t. There is a peace in personal liberty and morality. When I put aside what you think of my choices I am free to look to brighter choices, new bridges and spectacular new lands. I’m have some clarity now. More will come.
The fog will clear and it is my goal that those who chose to burn ties will find new ones elsewhere. Not sure mine can even be rebuilt. Grief cycle is real. Exploration is ways off but coming.
“Americans used to take pride in their work and the fact that they had a job. Now it seems they take pride in how much they can get without earning it.“
#foundonFB and spot on.
There has always been a mix. The cultural pendulum has swung way too far to the latter. All of the experts agree. Work. Make work your favorite. Build a life that doesn’t require a vacation. This concept it really hard for the entitled victimization crew out there. Personally, I think it starts with embracing every challenge and job as an opportunity to learn along with a context for relationships to others. When work is viewed as an unbearable burden we break.
Life is my work. Be. Love. Serve. Repeat.
Sparks and fire.
The inner turmoil of an unfulfilled artist is impossible to quantify. The art sets fire to its creator with both its presence and its absence. The spark burns brightly but it is the discipline and community which sustain the artist and the creator and protects against the cold and the explosions. Sparks can only be managed and channeled. The brighter and more powerful sparks require extraordinary communities and discipline to avoid disaster.
The establishment empire is too often viewed as the enemy in the scripts we read. The change agents’ motives are not so pure as they pretend. That is reality. Each of us has a role in the epics we find ourselves in.
What stage are we playing?
Children and immature minds embrace emotion without reason. Adulting is hard.
When unreasonable emotionally driven people define the definition of reasonable without challenge, terrible consequences follow.
#idiotsincharge regularly couch unreasonable criticism within their moral certainty and utopian idealism. Real leadership defines terms and conditions and lays out logical positions for discussion and possible action.
Doing nothing is almost always an option. Just because you want something to change doesn’t mean it is necessary. Deciding if it the expectation and associated decision is reasonable restarts the whole adulting cycle.
The same mentality that drives a victimization culture also empowers the “protected class”perspective of so many who feel morally and even intellectually superior because of their role. Both seek attention and reparations and entitlements.
It is hard to come to grips that we are all equal and results are based on luck, advantages, and good decisions most of all. People are equal. Ideas are not. Results are not the same and life is not fair. It never was and never will be. Educate yourself. Love your life. Do your job. Be. Love. Serve. Repeat. Expecting reverence is a deadly trap.
The force is strong with this one. He should go back to population and act like everyone else to set a good example. That is one way.
In the movie of course, the special then step up and lead in a new way, setting themselves apart.
The real way is to learn where you can best serve and then do so safely after education yourself. Raising all with you while you continue to seek to improve yourself.
The answer is never to lower the bar and race to the bottom to simply include. The distribution curve has a top and a bottom. Neither can be ignored.
Educate yourself. Live your life. Be. Love. Serve. Repeat. Freely giving and loving but standing proud. Let your light shine bright for all to see. Sing loud for all to hear. Stand and be counted. You are specific, beloved, first born child of Christ. Act like it.
it would be awesome if Jesus gave the disciples light sabers. Wait? Maybe he did. See: #TheHolySpirit
What is common? who? where?
Things that are not common:
Obviously is a term used to condescend and condemn commonly. Of course is as well.
The thing about war of any type. Violent. Economic. Semantics. — there are always casualties. If a fight is required then the only option is to Win (your side still has operations integrity and fewer casualties) or concede and walk away because the cost is too high. It is shocking how close we are to war all too often. Cold or Hot. Both have real loss.
What I think about what you think.
If you don’t know what I think it is on you. from Vatenor on FB to VaTenor.com to this personal page. Even my sermons and videos on my Vimeo page are consistent. I walk my talk.
I am a rugged individualism champion and an artist and a lot of things that don’t fit into any box. The question is. Will you allow me to think what I think? And still keep me on your life? Lost a lot of “friends” (mostly just pseudo friend acquaintances) in last year and that is a shame but it was necessary.
My worldview allows for yours. My actions and decisions/actions are aligned and intellectually honest. As a principal I’m not always right... literally. As to principles... right is the way.
If you can’t tolerate principled conservativism and you choose to censor, lock down, despise and demean... and disconnect that is on you. I’ll grieve your loss in my world and respect your freedom to be as you are.
As a proud resident of Henry County (legacy of Patrick Henry) I repeat give me liberty or give me death.
The Bill of No Rights
The following was written by State Representative Mitchell Kaye from GA
We, the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid any more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the blessings of debt free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt ridden, delusional, and other liberal bedwetters. We hold these truths to be self-evident: that a whole lot of people are confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim that they require a Bill of No Rights .
ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything.
ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone - not just you! You may leave the room (ed.: or this page), turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc., but the world is full of idiots, and probably always will be.
ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful, do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy.
ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes.
ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we're just not interested in public health care.
ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don't be surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair.
ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob, cheat or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still won't have the right to a big screen color TV or a life of leisure.
ARTICLE VIII: You don't have the right to demand that our children risk their lives in foreign wars to soothe your aching conscience. We hate oppressive governments and won't lift a finger to stop you from going to fight if you'd like. However, we do not enjoy parenting the entire world and do not want to spend so much of our time battling each and every little tyrant with a military uniform and a funny hat.
ARTICLE IX: You don't have the right to a job. All of us sure want all of you to have one, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful.
ARTICLE X: You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you have the right to pursue happiness - which by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an overabundance of idiotic laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.
Pit of self. no comment.
Selfishness. Self centered. Never want to actually help. Too much of a hassle.
I will not continue to beg. It is toxic. God forbid that you should be inconvenienced to help someone else. Or that you might actually have to spend money or time solely for another's benefit. I see you.
I won't tell you what to do. I won't address "it" directly. I will simply set a different example through my actions and choices. Some will be to minimize my exposure.
Every day is an opportunity. Words and deeds both matter. Some good some bad. Honesty is best policy but sometimes it is best to just shut up.
Intersection of principles and practices...