Turning the page into 2022

1. Constant and repeated criticism kills even if it is well intentioned. There may be a better way to do something. There always is, but the constant defensive system behaviors that a pattern of criticism creates is toxic. There is a time and place for critique but it must be much more rare for relationships to grow.
2. Comparison is root of both failure and success but too much of it literally destroys motivation allowing a focus on failures and gaps in place of progress and change.
3. There is nothing more important than the people and the moment in front of you. When you choose to prioritize the messaging, the stories, the feed, you are hurting those around you. Put the freaking iPhones down when you are around people that you care about.
4. Show respect and deference to parents. Period. This doesn’t mean you agree or like choices and decisions. You are allowed to be upset but showing respect is required. Time and space provide perspective. Use them.
5. Proactive consideration of family MUST be a priority. Self care is absolutely necessary, but it must be balanced with equal or greater attention on others.
6. If you say you will do something at a specific time. Do it. If you will not, then say no. Others count on you. If they can’t count on you, it is very bad.
7. To be involved in others lives, you must be involved in their lives. Doing, helping, participating whether you like it or not.
8. We must do things that we specifically do not like regardless. Relationships require this. The actions must go both ways.
9. Words are not enough. Choices, actions, and time must be spent on someone other than ourself.
10. What others think (optics) do matter but our cultural balance is out of whack. The most important people are the chosen ones not the mass. Popularity is not success.
11. Ask others what makes them happy. Do it assume that you know. You must ask. Bother the ask and the answer have importance to all parties in the conversation.
12. Listen to what others say. Every word. Every direction. Carefully and intentionally. If you don’t understand something do not save your ego and sit in silence. Ask a clarifying question. Learn, And do things differently.
13. In family, EVERYONE is equal and we are responsible for one another’s successes and failures. Park the ego and just be there to do and help.
14. Being right is never enough. Success is about scale and duration and it requires a platform of support. This platform is built on family first, whether we like it or not. We DECIDE who family is. Family is “on the wall”
15. Willful ignorance is not something to celebrate. Failure is okay, but it is not something to celebrate. Own the fails and we can own the wins.

Unmet expectations cause injury. Period. Met expectations have a short lifespan in memory. All too often they are taken for granted. The focus always turns to the mistakes and misses. This is human reality and requires constant intention to remediate. The consequences of assuming are bad.


Expectations that have not been communicated, clarified, AND agreed upon will not be met. This is a foundation for progress.